Jesus Christ I Sound Like a Small Child!

Today I filmed my first ever tutorial. Let's just say I have learnt many things...

1 - Making tutorials is hard work - and I mean hard!

2 - I am not technologically minded AT ALL

3 - Time is not my friend

4 - I have the voice of a 5 year old

5 - I faff A LOT

6 - I have the memory of a goldfish

7 - I say 'kind of' waaaay too much

So the other day I ordered myself an #arkonmount and was super excited when it came and wanted to start filming tutorials straight away. However it took me a good two days to figure out how I could record something on my iphone whilst simultaneously watching what I was filming on my ipad (I thought this was probably needed otherwise I was bound to just record the whole thing out of view knowing me!) Literally no-one in the world could help me and I eventually found an answer via random strangers online (thank you random strangers!) So ipad and iphone all connected, arkon mount all set up and I was ready to go. It would be easy-peasy now right? Wrong!

Well it was easy to film the actual tutorial but then I wanted to edit it so it wasn't desperately long and boring.

Watching the recording back I realised several things about myself... namely I seriously faff! I know I am a perfectionist - I always have been - but watching myself make the dinosaur was so ridiculous. I was scrunching up perfectly good dinosaur legs and feet and making exact replicas because I wasn't happy with the first ones. Well to be honest - what you don't see in the video is that I actually made a full on dinosaur before deciding I didn't like him, squishing him up and making a second one. So the tutorial you see is T-Rex mark 2.

After deleting all evidence of the first dinosaur, I then spent hours trying to find an editing software I could understand let alone use. I finally found one (InShot to the rescue) and more hours were spent editing out boring bits of the tutorial - just like to point out here that's not because there was hours of boring stuff, rather that I am useless with technology and it took me hours to figure out how to do it. Editing done! It may not be the neatest of editing jobs but at least the video wasn't over an hour long now.

Next job - record the audio instructions over the video. I couldn't have talked you through what I was doing as I was doing it as I have a tendency to hum or sing rather a lot when I am concentrating (and I CANNOT sing so you may have all gone a bit deaf by the end of it had I done that). Also the fact that I kept changing it and re-doing things meant that I had to record the audio afterwards. So I start recording - luckily the new app I've found has an easy on/off button for recording audio - even I can do that!

I record the first little bit of audio and listen back to see if it's okay and to make sure I'm not crazy heavy breathing or something that makes my video sound like ANOTHER sort of video!! No heavy breathing so that's a relief but MY LORD I sound like a five year old! I know I sound young on the phone as people always tell me, but actually hearing myself back I feel like I'm listening to some small lost child. I did momentarily contemplate doing the whole voiceover in different accents to make it more entertaining and so as not to sound like a toddler, but the only accent I can really do is Irish and even then I fear I might end up offending Irish people so I decided small, tiny, child voice was probably best. (Side note - hubby is EXCELLENT at accents and MANY of them so may get him to narrate a tutorial in the future in as many accents as possible! The more I think about this the more I think it is a fabulous idea. He is yet to find out about it!)

I didn't want to plan what I was going to say over the tutorial as I didn't want it to end up all stiff and forced or to sound like it was being read from a sheet so I thought I would just talk about what I was doing as I was watching the video. However this had its own problems. Some audio I had to delete and redo as I kept forgetting what was coming next and started talking about the wrong thing. I did leave a couple of these in just to show you how useless I am! The #eddieizzard sketch about goldfish and a 5 second bowl sprung to mind whilst this was going on. If you haven't seen it you NEED to google it now (or maybe after you've read my blog and watched my tutorial) - it is awesome! How can someone have this bad a memory?! I blame the kids! Baby brain never goes away. It's fact people!

Anyway, all audio now recorded. I watch it back. Oh Jesus! I say 'kind of' waaaay too much. I actually started annoying myself when I listened back. That with the fact that a lot of the time I was just slightly out of shot meant I spent most of the day shouting at my on-screen, 5-year-old-sounding, highly-forgetful self 'we can't see woman!' To be fair though, I'm allowing it though as it was my first video (and possibly my last as at this rate it will take me 5 years to record, edit and post a bloody tutorial! Ha!)

So 521,698,214 hours later and the video is done. The logo is added, YouTube channel created. Time to post. You think this will be a 'press the post button and it's done' moment don't you? Wrong again! It was more like 'press the button and wait half an hour for the video to upload, then ten minutes for it to process, then ten minutes to post and maybe then it will be done' moment. In the time it took to do whatever technological things it needed to do in order to post I actually made myself a cuppa, hung the washing out, had a snack, drank said tea and farted about on my ipad for a while.

But now it is out there. In the actual world. With my actual 5-year-old voice playing for all to hear. I feel embarrassed and weirdly a little scared. Is anyone going to actually watch this video? Is it going to be helpful at all? Will anyone make the dinosaur? Does anyone even read this blog? Am I just rambling to myself? I hope the answer to all the these questions (except the last one) is yes but who knows. This is all new territory for me and whilst I am enjoying doing it, it is a weird feeling not really knowing what happens to it once I've posted it so if you read this blog or watch the video please feel free to leave a (nice) comment or give me a little share so I know you are there. And if there is something particular you'd like me to do a tutorial on then just let me know and I will do my best :)




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